My 5-year-old could do that

Hey! Happy New Year Everyone

 I'm a new person now that it's 2012
 and here is a list so you can keep up

1) I have decided to expand my compassionate bent towards all animals. Proof?

   a)  Decided to not euthanize cat. Even though she sounds like a banshee and has some sort of incurable disease that causes her to walk as though she's on deck during a particularly rough channel crossing. 

   b) There are squirrels the size of dogs running up and down the trees outside and I didn't have ungracious
thoughts. Or call animal control. Instead I beat it upstairs and hid under a comfy blanket.
       By the way, did you know that woodpeckers are a federally protected bird so you can't kill them? However if you read a bit further in the woodpecker statute, one can actually 'harm them' if one has a federal permit. [note to self - one may need a state permit as well] Since woodpeckers have been known to peck away at the space shuttle (no further information forthcoming), I guess they sort of have carte blanche. So  c) I, too, shall be magnanimous. 

Debris field outside Shuttle after Woodpecker attack
or
 Installation at SF MOMA?*

2) I wont cause scenes in public. Proof?




   a) I almost broke down in front of the painting of Saint Sebastian by Mantegna  and barely caught myself when I heard a teacher, who was leading a group of students with 'Ukiah Wrestling' sweatshirts (Go Wildcats!!) through the gallery saying that this was an early oil painting.......WRONG WRONG WRONG. From the 1974 section of my brain, the words Tempera on Panel broke through.  I don't know if I almost cried because the painting was beautiful, that it brought back memories from a delirious year in Florence or that I had retained a nano-smidgen of information from putative** college years.

  b) I almost broke down, but the screaming kind, in front of a sculpture that was titled, I swear to god,

'Artificial Rock' 

and it looked like THIS (yes I'm shouting)

Do I LOOK stupid?

This is a test.  Five Panels. Art or not. Go.

I know this is childish and churlish but honestly - I see gorgeous, rich paintings of Giorgione,Titian and Veronese and then head off to the Best Buy/Chipotle/Jamba Juice strip mall and see things that could be at home in an exhibit of Objects Trouves, my mind distends and I question my entire existence.

3) ..........I already forgot - exercise?  find meaningful work?  move to Tatertotville, MO?

Glad to be back


* Neither - it's a shoe on a beach. Found Art.  So there
**Putative - favourite word these days- used to describe, among other things, boyfriend.